A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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