What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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Sex education in Texas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops