Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

The Female Orgasm

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

women's rights

Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

I'm 4 and what is this?

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

Once there was a frog. My parents died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...