If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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poop

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops