What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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