Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

your mom was so fat that she died.

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

Nick Cannon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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