You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm terrible at poems. Potato.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Call of Duty is a good game.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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