Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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Xzibit

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Your Mom

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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