roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Black people being friendly.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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poop

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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