Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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flavin's head

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Two planes walk into an office building

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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