A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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