Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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A house comes around the corner.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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Lindsay Lohan

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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