Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops