What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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