What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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Miscarriages.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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