what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops