A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

wanna here a joke? you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

zx

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Vagina Boob

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

thumb_up thumb_down -2

doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops