Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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i killed my family

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops