just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops