A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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An man walks to a bra

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops