What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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