Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

hi

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...