person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops