Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Stealth baseballs record

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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when debbie meets downer

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i have a christmas tree.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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