What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

What's white and gluey Glue

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

Why was the woman?

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...