What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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