Dear crush, I want to drink you

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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when debbie meets downer

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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