A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Twinkle Twinkle little wh**e close youre legs youre not a door. youre gonna get an S,T,D, youree only wanted cause youre free... Twinkle Twinkle little Wh**e youre cheeper then the dollar store

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V I T A M I N C !

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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i like it in the mouth

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orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Women's rights.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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