roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Charlie Sheen

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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* anti-punchline

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops