A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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hi joshua

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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