What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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6

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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9/11

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Bob Saget that is all

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A Fat Kenyan

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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