Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

Your mom.

So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

where's mom I killed her

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

Women's Professional _________

Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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