Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops