- Anti Joke

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

How do you spell eight? 8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

why did the duck cross the road? because his dk was stuck in the chickens a....

no really what are ur names?

Chris Bosh's neck

Women's Rights

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

How do you spell eight? 8

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

no really what are ur names?

Chris Bosh's neck

Women's Rights

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

How do you spell eight? 8

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

why did the duck cross the road? because his dk was stuck in the chickens a....