What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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