How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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A seal walks into a club.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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