You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What do you call a black man? Black

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

whats the stage after cancer? you die

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

Why did? Yes

How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

Why did the purse kill a circus yeast? Secks

Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

Barack Obama

Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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