What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops