How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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