Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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This sentence is a lie.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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