so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops