What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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