sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Reading books

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops