What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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