Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

Knock knock. Who's there You are.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

david poredos

man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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