I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Smelly Indians.

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops