two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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