What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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