Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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aa

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops