Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

don't just stand there

Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

Women's rights

A man walks into a bar. Realizing he forgot his ID, he leaves.

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...