What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i have a christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Im about to rewrite History....... History

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops