What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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How you know when dislextic

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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hi mom

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I hate long jokes -_-

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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