how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops