why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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National security?

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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