- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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KONY 2012

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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Miscarriages.

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Dude did you hear of that mexcican who made a succesful living? Yeah. Me too,

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops